


I'll come running (to tie your shoe)

by cloudfactories



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, Bittersweet Ending, Established noren, Friends to Lovers, High School, Homophobic Language, Love Triangles, M/M, Time Skips, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-07
Updated: 2020-12-07
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:14:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,140
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27587303
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cloudfactories/pseuds/cloudfactories
Summary: two's a company, three's are a crowd. jaemin never imagined that he would be selfish enough to give up the things he wanted the most. a friend, and someone to love.
Relationships: Huang Ren Jun/Lee Jeno/Na Jaemin
Comments: 8
Kudos: 19
Collections: NRMFF2020





	I'll come running (to tie your shoe)

_ First, make sure that your shoelaces, he unties them roughly, are undone. Then, make sure the laces look like and  _ _ ‘ _ _ x _ _ ’ _ _ , he says determined, you know, cross it over. He does it carefully and makes the shape he is looking for. He looks up and then back at the shoes, with a sigh he ties it tightly against his white sneakers. The shoelaces are coiled around his fingers, as he pulls it carefully and makes a bow. He inserts one shoelace inside the hoop and tugs it to a neat knot. He looks up, and busts into a beam, before patting his immaculate work. He stands up and says, _

__

_ “Call me if you need help with your shoes again. _ _ ” _

__

_ For a split second, Jeno feels the burden lifting off his heart and truly believes that for once he can rely on someone. _

･ ˖ · ◴ ◵ ◶ ◷

Jaemin sat on one of the seats lined up along the window, as he settled with observing the blurred scenery of the outside. People moved on with a thought, busy, and unbridled. The hubbub during the holidays lacked reticence and he could understand why, somewhat. The speakers hung up in one random corner of the cafe played  _ “More Than This _ _ ” _ by Roxy Music and he could feel himself bobbing his head along with the agonizing, ragged tone of the singer.

He was told that he should be waiting and that he would be there in a jiffy. Jaemin didn ’ t know if  ‘ jiffy ’  entailed some 30 minutes. The songs transitioned to an oldie by The Smiths, and it urged a surge of tragic memories from his heydays. He resisted thinking of it, and with his tightened fist in front of him, he was successful in seizing those memories from playing further.

The coffee arrived and the waitress hurried her way out of the buzz of the crowd, thickening in the middle of the diner. He asked her to recommend him something off the menu to order before she left. She impatiently blurted out,  “ The waffles are decent. ”

Jaemin nodded and told her, he would get two. The snow gathered among the windows sills, while the men from the back spoke indistinct French, slurring along ill-profanities and  _ ‘te plaits _ _ ’  _ while the _ ‘merde _ _ ’ _ _ s _ came uncalled for. He didn ’ t have an interest to know so he kept his ears out of it. While the coffee warmed his lips, his fingers tapped along the plastic-coated diner table, the chipped out corners urging to be touched.

The one he was supposed to meet, was someone he knew from his school. He met him during a convention he had in a nearby hotel and he found out he was booked in there too. Red hair, crisp shirt, and suit tightened along with his silhouette, he resembled-although maturely-someone he knew before. When he looked at his shoes, he noticed there were no shoelaces to tie.

He left the coffee to dwell on the table, as he remembered the events of that day. The waves washed up the shore like cursed reminiscent, as the chilly, salty zephyr kissed them on the cheeks. He was the one-from school alright. Jeno Lee, he introduced himself pointlessly. Jaemin recognized him of course. Despite all that happened back in the day, he just couldn ’ t forget.

But, obviously, as time went on, there were plenty of other things to preoccupy your mind other than just that particular memory. There is so denying how much that memory might have shaped you into the person you were that day, but it was too far away in the time continuum to say, _I remember that. Or, how much we have changed. Or, I forgot everything you meant to me. Or to say, I never forgave you._

__

_ Or, please tie your shoes, I _ _ ’ _ _ m begging. I don _ _ ’ _ _ t want you to fall. _

“I missed you. ”  Jeno said after he let the silence boil in between them,  “ We missed you. ”

“’We ’  seems more of a taunt, doesn ’ t it? ”  Jaemin sighed, rubbing his bare arms. He should have worn a full-sleeved short, along with a few layers but he ended up wearing a green Hawaii shirt. He shoved his hand in his pocket, praying that he wouldn ’ t explain himself so that it could placate the feelings of remorse huddled inside him.

“Jaemin, it ’ s time that you leave it behind you. ”  Jeno turned around to look at him and Jaemin stopped in his tracks. Jeno looked warm in his suit and sleek choice of work boots. The sea bellowed behind them, akin to the cry Jaemin has been suppressing all those years inside him,  “ Renjun and I, both are very happy. For once, I want to see you happy too. ”

“How did you know? ”

“You, for once, couldn ’ t make it any less obvious. ”

･ ˖ · ◴ ◵ ◶ ◷

“Hey-a! ”  The boy with ragged shorts and prickly leg hair slurred out, slapping his hands on Jaemin ’ s shoulders and tugged him back,  “ Where do you think you were going, HO- ”  he took a breath in order to emphasize his last syllables,  “ -MO? ”

That induced a break of petering laughter among the clique of same adolescent boys standing behind him, squared shoulders and arms tightly wounded on their chests. Jaemin should feel scared, but he didn ’ t. They looked like rats, the gray ones who always had pink, disgusting tails behind their back. The ones, he used to shoo off in his shabby little apartment.

So, he did what he could best. Wear the most spiteful, smug expression on his face and shrug the bully ’ s hand off his body. He had only cleaned his shirt that morning, he didn ’ t want it to get dirty with the help of his grubby and greasy hands.

“Did you-just- ”  Gestures like that always threw them off, and it excited Jaemin to see them so pissed,  “ -you fucking homo trash? Was my hand not enough like those men you touch up at clubs, whore? ”

“I am not sure if you would like your hands being dirtied by- ”  Jaemin cleared his throat,  “ Your words not mine but a  ‘ dirty homo trash ’ ? ”

“What the fuck did you say? ”  He could hear the boys growling in rage behind him, as the bully in front did hesitate to grab his jaw and painfully tug it upwards. He was squeezing his cheeks so hard, that Jaemin reminded himself to check in the mirror, for any red prints before returning to class.

“Oh man …” Jaemin managed to utter out, adding a coarse chortle afterward,  “ Who got your undies up in a twist? Want me to fix them? ”

“You fucking shit! You are literally asking me to rip your jaw off. ”  The way his fingers were pressing on to his jaw, Jaemin was sure he would be willing enough to tear his jaw off and play football with his severed lower part. Jaemin didn ’ t know why he couldn ’ t resist himself confronting them with the equally painful slurs that he knew would tick them off. But then again, he couldn ’ t imagine himself being degraded and insulted by a bunch of conceited imbeciles.

“You guys- ”  The bully snapped his head towards the entrance of the school, as Jaemin attempted to crane his neck in that direction but he could only make out a figure in his peripheral,  “ -Mr. Kim is coming. Scram! ”

Jaemin could hear the boys behind him scurry out like ants, while the bully stood there, with a weakened ground but had the nerve to play a staring game with Jaemin. It was as if he was spelling out all the profanities with his quivering pupils, and Jaemin couldn ’ t comprehend anything but how his pride was hurt, with how the class president told him to beat it.

“I ’ ll see you later! ”  The bully grumbled, and Jaemin realized that all the years he had known him, bullying him, he never made the effort to know his name. Perhaps he did know his name but forgot it along the way. He wasn ’ t good with names, particularly. He never made a sobriquet for him either but he thought French Fry fingers would suit him okay. Fingers loosened around his jaw, although painful Jaemin still flashed a smirk, prompting the latter to hurl his leg on the ground, meaning to get some dirt on his pants.

“Hope I get to see you soon! ”  Jaemin announced with a bright beam as French Fry Fingers made his way across the field towards the entrance. The boy looked back and flipped both of his middle fingers up to which Jaemin simply reciprocated with a cringy, anime style victory sign. He continued to hold that expression until French Fry Fingers disappeared among the student body.

“Fucking shit! ”  Jaemin lamented as he bent down on his haunches and tried to brush off the dirt that stuck up on his pant ’ s hem,  “ I just did the laundry yesterday. ”

“You need help with that? ”

Since the sun was shining so egotistically bright, it left the class president ’ s face darkened out and hollow. He inched a hand towards him, which benevolently Jaemin slapped away. He knew how the class president looked like, with his shit-eating impassive face, along with the adorned expensive silk suit he wore. Jaemin couldn ’ t afford the suit, so he made do with his father ’ s unnecessarily torn-out ones, which either had one sleeve half missing or the hem roughly ripped.

More on the class president, he was more on the  “ person of little words ”  kind of guy. He rarely entertained the idea of bullying, and always seemed to be top of the class and whatnot, even though he barely peeped a word in class. He was the teacher's pet, as obvious as it was, and rumored to have flirted around with one or two. But that was hearsay, and Jaemin knew it better than anyone else to trust the right sources.

_ Jeno-Lee Jeno _ . But Jaemin always enunciated his name as  “ Zeno ”  and tuned the o with a pitched voice. Sometimes, he would be daring and holler out,  “ Hey-yah, Gucci!. ”  but that was on very rare occasions because he could care less. So, you get the image?

“I don ’ t why you always go your way to agitate Sunghan. You can just leave it. ”  Jeno said, with his point-blank voice. Extremely robotic that it urged Jaemin to imitate him. But he already pissed one person that morning, so he didn ’ t want to spoil another person ’ s mood.

“That being said, Gucci, you can just …” Jaemin gesticulated towards the then-empty courtyard,  “… leave me. I can walk myself, thank you. ”

“I am going to take you to the infirmary.Your lips are bleeding. ”

Jaemin didn ’ t notice but he could feel a stinging pain somewhere in his face.

“No. ”  Jaemin bluntly refused, as he retracted straight up, and brushed off his hands.

“Yes, you are coming with me. ”  Jaemin couldn ’ t understand why he was being so adamant to take him to the nurse.

“No, ”  Jaemin replied again. He could do that all day if he wanted to. He plunged his hands into his pockets and took a leisure posture while facing the stubborn yet troubled class captain. Jeno ’ s face remained calm for the most part, but it was evident from the furrowed brows he was looking for something to threaten the latter. His face immediately lit when he thought of one.

“I am going to report you to Mr.Kim. You and- ”

“French Fry Fingers? ”  Jaemin shrugged,  “ Okay, then. I ’ ll go with you. If you are so hung up on seeing me getting my lips stitched … if that is your kink then fine. Let ’ s go. ”

Jeno stretched his hands as if to help him walk towards the entrance, which Jaemin swatted off.

“My lips are bleeding not my legs. I can walk fine. But if you are looking for an excuse to hold my hand, ” Jaemin paused to turn to him and shot a wink,  “ You just have to ask. ”

“Aren ’ t you full of yourself? ”  Jeno chuckled, walking ahead. Jaemin knew he was embarrassed, but he hopped a few strides to join by his side. He threw an arm around his shoulder and patted his chest.

“You know, you are the first person in this entire damn school to lend me a hand. The other shits, ignore me as if I have rolled up in mud before coming to school. Rambunctious rascals. ”

“Wow, you know words. ”  Jeno pointed at him as he laughed heartily.

“I have literature with you idiot. ”

･ ˖ · ◴ ◵ ◶ ◷

“You couldn ’ t make an effort to come to our wedding? ”  Jeno said with a tone of disappointment that Jaemin caught on. He didn ’ t know what excuse to make; he was never good at that. So he deemed he would ramble whatever dead mind concatenated.

“Congrats then. ”  Jaemin shrugged, tugging his pace closet to Jeno. He always seemed to walk ahead and was never considerate about others. It made him a whole lot more charming than others. But sometimes, others never tried to notice.

“We are well into one year of our marriage. Your well wishes- ”  Jeno nodded, shoving his hands into his pocket,  “ -are too late. Not that I expected anything. ”  He paused before looking up to Jaemin,  “ From you. ”

Jaemin shoulders dropped at that, but he pretended to be oblivious. He continued strutting along the edge where the foamy, broken waves met the shore. Sometimes, he would walk too close and let the cool saltwater wash over the tip of his sneakers, his shoelaces were tied tightly.

“Then, happy 1 year anniversary. ”  He said dryly, adding a sigh at the end of his sentence. He was as frustrated as Jeno and maybe a bit disappointed. He didn ’ t have a place to express his disappointment, because it was his fault from the beginning. He was the one to cut off all contacts, changed his phone numbers, and flew off to another country without a peep. He was notorious for flaking, and people roared with rumors about it.

“You are 10 months too late. It is our 2nd year anniversary in a few months. ”

“What do you want me to say then? ”

“That you are sorry. ”  Jeno finally stopped walking,  “ That you are sorry for hurting us. You know during our reunion- ”

“I hate those. ”

“Listen. During our 10th year reunion, Renjun and I went there expecting that perhaps we would see you. Little hope, but we still did. However, you weren ’ t there. People were all buzzing with rumor how our friendship had a fall-out because you, out of all of us, you played with our feelings. What does that make of our friendship?” 

“You know it better than anyone that I don ’ t give a rat ’ s ass about those. ”  Jaemin crossed his arms across his chest, and looked at Jeno dead in the eye,  “ Okay, maybe … yes. I am sorry. I should have been there and I regret it. Maybe. But- ”

“You don ’ t have to make excuses. I understand. You couldn ’ t stand seeing it all go down. ”

Jaemin tried to open his lips, to string some words that would be believable enough for Jeno not to think like that. But, in all honesty, Jaemin wasn ’ t ready to accept their marriage and he knew it was better off silent. In the end, he closed off his ajar mouth and walked past Jeno towards the pier.

“You-do you have someone? ”

Jaemin circled his ring on his middle finger before pulling it, and dipped it into his right pocket. He only looked back then and smiled when he met Jeno ’ s impassive face.

“Not yet. No. ”

･ ˖ · ◴ ◵ ◶ ◷

Jaemin tapped the red hair sitting in front of him. People were saying how he was the new students, flying straight from New York, with that perfect Brooklyn accent-

“What? ”  Nope-he spoke perfect Korean. Jaemin looked forward to polishing his English with him-now that thought was purged.

“Nothing. I want to tell you that if you want some notes, I can help you with it. ”  Jaemin nodded, as an extra amiable gesture. The student in front of beamed, and mouthed a thank you.

“Name? ”

“You are Jaemin, right? ”  He pointed at the glinting badge pinned on his blue coat. Jaemin bobbed his head and pointed back at his empty space for a badge.

“The office is making it right now. Back in New York, they didn ’ t have IDs so I didn ’ t know I had to order it. I placed one yesterday. ”  He still didn ’ t reveal his name, so Jaemin was turning impatient but what he said next, took him by surprise.

“I heard you make nicknames for people. Mind making one from me? ”

“Where did you hear it from? ”

“A little bird chirped it to my ear. ”  But his fingers pointed at Jeno who was sitting at the far opposite of the class, scrutinizing their interaction with his squinting eyes. Jeno wasn ’ t wearing his glasses like usual, so it looked like he was frowning at their every interaction. Jaemin turned to look at him, and Jeno raised his eyebrows to which Jaemin answered with his usual, signature victory sign.

He turned back to Renjun and with a serious glare, he said,  “ Too Tiny, Too Thin. Like it? ”

“It ’ s okay. I think it suits me well. By the way, my name still remains a secret until I get my badge. ”  He was about to turn around to resume his initial position to stare at the board but Jaemin poked him at the back again.

“You do know that I will get to know your name eventually once the teacher does roll-call. You would have to introduce yourself to the class. ”

“So much for being mysterious. ”  Renjun lifted his fist up and nudged Jaemin with his eyes, to initiate a bro-fist. Being Jaemin, the one who rarely had people to do those met the curled up hand with the tip of his fingers, and giggled. Renjun sighed, and shot to pull out Jaemin’s retreating hand, curled his fingers into a fist. He finally met Jaemin ’ s fist with his, correctly and Jaemin felt so unfamiliar when their skin grazed each other. He didn ’ t know it was okay for someone else to interact with him so naturally and casually.

How their hands bumped each other, it ignited something bubbly and refreshing inside of him. It was as if he could sigh in relief, inwardly. It was a while since he had someone look at him without ingrained hatred or disgust. Everyone at the ill-fated school was wired to hate him unreasonably. It was a nice change of pace, he thought.

Jaemin looked over his shoulder, to check if Jeno was watching. He wasn ’ t and was busy engaging in a conversation with another classmate. He was laughing about something while gesticulating animatedly about something.

He would have to thank Jeno for that, after school. Jaemin knew Jeno set those two up intentionally.

“Too Tiny, Too Thin. ”  Jaemin rolled the name so smoothly off his tongue that it induced the new student to turn around once again, and gave out a Cheshire grin. He hummed, and Jaemin decided to say what he always did, what other people. It shattered most of their impressions, so he couldn ’ t imagine how the new student (possibly a potential friend) would react to it.

“You do know, I am …”  He shook his shoulders awkwardly and shifted on his seat,  “… I am-I like people of the same gender. I-I am gay. Yeah, that ’ s it. I understand if-if- ”

Jaemin stopped stuttering as the latter ’ s smile fell, and his expression turned glum. Maybe, he didn’t like-

“That makes the two of us. ”

The rest of the class, past Renjun ’ s overly obnoxious introduction (he had a dance number and all) or the homeroom teacher ’ s useless lectures about class bonding, all Jaemin could notice how widely Renjun was smiling. How his lips couldn ’ t wilt looking at him, how his eyes followed his every gesture, or how happy and excited he looked when he took back to his seat and craned to flash another one of his smiles at Jaemin. He finally found someone of his own and for once, he didn ’ t feel left out. By a long shot but he deemed that he found a friend to keep for life.

･ ˖ · ◴ ◵ ◶ ◷

“Jaemin. ”  Renjun heaved once he saw Jaemin, chucked to the corner of the diner, with half-drunk coffee in front of him Waffles were too, untouched and slid to the farthest corner of the table. With his hands spread wide, Renjun welcomed him to a hug which Jaemin welcomed half-heartedly, and could only wrap his arms around his waist subtly.

“How are you? ”

“I ’ m alive. ”  Jaemin replied, faking a smile. Renjun reciprocated back with his same old grin, that he had from his days at school. The overly amiable, casual, and painful smile he carried throughout those years and Jeno, only, was lucky to experience it. He still carried the reputation of being,  “ Too Tiny, Too Thin, ” , as his petite figure only reached Jaemin ’ s chest. He was afraid that Renjun could hear how loud his heart was thrumming.

“You look nervous. ”  Renjun gave a wry smile and settled in the right corner of the booth, opposite of Jaemin,  “ Come on, we are friends. Were friends. Best friends. ”

“Is Jeno coming? ”  Jaemin asked, fingers trailing along the cool rim of his coffee mug. Renjun nodded in acquiescent and pointed at the untouched waffles.

“Eating that? ”

“No. ”  Jaemin shook his head and slid the plate towards him along the table. Renjun propped two forks from the cutlery holder and handed one over to Jaemin. He smiled kindly and nudged the fork in the air for Jaemin to accept it. Hesitantly, Jaemin slipped the fork from between his fingers and poked the crusty edges of the waffles, ready to dive in.

“You always liked sweet stuff. ”  Renjun mumbled, before gobbling down a bite,  “ This is delicious. As expected from France. ”

“People change. ”  Jaemin took a spoonful and decided it was indeed worldly. He hurriedly shoved another fresh and buttery bite in his mouth and waited for it to melt. Renjun looked up from his waffles and laughed while pointing at him with his fork.

“Looks like you haven ’ t. ”

After a decent five, Jeno entered the cafe with a jingle. He swiftly greeted the staff with an effortless enunciated,  “ Bonjour ”  before sidling beside Renjun. He quickly grabbed another fork from the holder and began to tear up a piece of another corner of the waffle.

“You need syrup? ”  Jaemin tapped the syrup bottle pressed against the wall beside the holder to which Jeno refused with a shrug. He was still holding last night ’ s events against him and Jaemin, for once, didn ’ t know how to loosen him up. He noticed how Renjun tried to elbow Jeno ’ s side, for him to interact or greet Jaemin casually, but as always Jeno was too stuck up to do that.

“Stop being so pretentious and awkwardly gentleman-like, Gucci. ”  Jaemin tightly smiled, cocking his eyebrows up. He took a grip of the syrup bottle, and shook the remnants of the sticky substance on the waffles, and watched the bread drench under the wrath poorly.

“You are acting as if- ”

Jaemin inclined his head towards Renjun discreetly, enough for Jeno to know,  “ -as not like a spoilsport? Jeno, we got together after so many days so let ’ s celebrate that. Anyway, what ’ s up with both of you? ”

“Well, as you should know, we got married. We are well into our first year and as people marriage never gets easy. Right, Jeno? ”  Renjun looked at him with honey-dripping eyes and Jaemin sighed inwardly. He could never get used to it. Thank God, he got out of it when he still had time.

“Yeah. Of course. ”  Jeno narrowed his eyes at Jaemin, as the latter managed to beam and nod his head fervently. He knitted his hands in front of his face and rested his chin upon it. Renjun ’ s voice always pulled him in, so he couldn ’ t help listening to every word, gibberish he had to say.

“Jeno told me yesterday, like how he met you at the reception and you asked for a quaint get-together. Missed me much? ”

“Kind of. ”  Jaemin shrugged,  “ You know, you never get old for a small get together. Since Jeno said I …” Jaemin scoffed airily,  “… I wanted us to meet, then I must make it fun. Going down the memory lane, laughing about kids stuff, and oh! ”  He tapped his hands over Renjun ’ s repetitively,  “ I heard French Fry Fingers got married to a gal from school. ”

“Really? ”  Renjun looked genuinely surprised, and Jaemin felt overwhelmed being able to witness those expressions after so many years. He would never get tired of it; how his mouth would slightly ajar, exposing his pearly whites, and the corner of his eyes would wrinkle.

“Yeah. I got invited but you know me. After a lot of hum and haw, I decided it would be better if I turn it down. Knowing well that he- ”

“-used to have a huge crush on you during high school. I don ’ t know how he went from beating you up to straight up liking you. ”

“Jaemin, was very suave. ”  Jeno cleared his throat as his chews reside,  “ He got through everyone. ”

Jaemin looked at Jeno, with a quivering smile. The smile implied a hint of gladness with a bit of nostalgia and a whole lot of regret. Glad that he was opening up but somehow irritated that it unraveled a filing cabinet of memories inside Jaemin ’ s head, that he dared not to riffle through.

“Did he get through you? ”  Renjun asked with a chuckle.

“Why not? ”

･ ˖ · ◴ ◵ ◶ ◷

“You kissed French Fry Fingers? ”  Jeno screeched at him with fury, slapping the files on the ledge of their usual spot. The usual spot was outside the door of the terrace, an open space consisting of a floor to ceiling window and a narrow shelf-like ledge where they would rest their bums on. The terrace was off-limits so students would rarely get the energy to climb stairs after stairs to find a narrow, barely fitting a group of 10, space to engage in their daily conversations. So, Jeno took the initiative to introduce Jaemin to that introverted, lonely space for him to unwind and indulge in privacy.

“He was getting on my nerves. So I did what I do best. My smugness wasn ’ t getting on to him. ”  Jaemin sprawled on the floor, hands stretched above his head,  “ By the way, I’m happy to see the nickname is rubbing on you. ”

“Well, you say it too many times a day for me not to imitate that. ”  Jeno mused,  “ It ’ s psychology. ”

“Don ’ t talk about things you are not well-versed about, ”  Jaemin grumbled, taking a hold of the hem of Jeno ’ s pants and tugged it, gesturing for him to lay down beside him. Jeno sighed and sat down on his haunches and crossed his legs.

“Can I lie on your lap? My head is feeling heavy. I think French Fry Finger ’ s oil got to me. ”

Jeno nodded and patted his lap for Jaemin to rest on. The latter snuggled comfortably against the rough yet silk material of the dress pants and heaved a pleased sigh. Jeno carded his fingers along with Jaemin ’ s locks, clicking his tongue when he got a hold of his sadly dried ends. He nagged how he should stop dyeing his hair because it was taking the life out of it.

“Also, don ’ t go kissing your bully on the lips. ”  Jeno continued whining and honestly, Jaemin wanted to shut him by slapping his lips. But he provided him with a decent pillow, so he let him ramble.

“So, who do you suppose I should kiss instead? I am not exactly brimming with a wide demographic of candidates here, as you know. ”  Jaemin turned around and meet Jeno ’ s eyes, which were eyeing down at him. Jeno bit his lips, and Jaemin noticed how he hesitated. Probably, his mind went blank and he realized there was exactly no one-

“Kiss me. ”

Jaemin scrunched up his face and launched into an uproarious guffaw. He picked his head up from Jeno ’ s lap and craned back to look at him.

“Kiss you? Aren ’ t you the straightest person I know? ”  Jaemin calmed down to a few chuckles before saying,  “ You are kidding, right? ”

“Yeah. I am. ”

Jaemin fell back on to his lap and Jeno continued threading through his hair and talked off about his daily endeavors, debacles as if the prior incident never took place. But Jaemin held on to it, imperceptible to Jeno ’ s knowledge.

The next morning, what Jaemin least expected was a bouquet of flowers on his table, with a pink ribbon wrapped meticulously around the brunch. Jeno and Renjun joined to stare at it, unsure what to make of it. There was a petite card, stamped under the weight of the bouquet so Renjun picked up the flower bunch and pushed into Jeno ’ s chest. Jaemin took the card and read aloud,

**“I am very shameful for what I** **’** **ve inflicted on you for years, with my useless and hurtful taunts. I hope you find it in your heart to forgive me. From,** **”** Jaemin couldn ’ t help but laugh,  **“Sunghan.** **”**

“Wow, you- ”  Renjun punched Jaemin ’ s arms,  “ -great job, you. ”

“I never thought it would be a kiss that would stop his pestering. ”

Well, contradicting Jaemin ’ s statement, Sunghan ’ s pestering never stopped. It took a new form, like offering a different flower bouquet on his table, buying him unsolicited bread treats from the cafeteria, and sometimes, made cards with poems written on them and slipped it on his desk. It didn ’ t bother Jaemin much; he got through years of unrestrained bullying so it was the same just a tad bit, sweeter. Annoying, nonetheless.

“Is he annoying you? ”  Jeno asked him one evening. He turned the chair, that was in front of Jaemin, around and straddled it, with his legs widely spread.

“Who? ”  Jaemin continued scribbling on to his notepad. Something stupid and crude, like perverted limericks. He had a weird passion for those.

“Sunghan. He has been sending you stuff straight-on for a week. ”

Jaemin looked up from his notebook and looked at him, unfazed,  “ Hey, it keeps my stomach satiated and my wallet brimming. I don ’ t see what ’ s the problem here. ”

“Still- ”

Jaemin poked Jeno with his pen, and drew a small heart over his knuckle,  “ Unless, you are annoyed. Then, you can call it off, for all I care. ”

“I am not annoyed. ”

“Yeah, yeah …”  Jaemin shook his head from side to side before returning back to his notebook,  “ Keep telling that to yourself, Gucci. ”

“Are you claiming that I am jealous? ”

“Well, aren ’ t you? ”  Jaemin diverted his eyes from his notebook That limerick wouldn ’ t be meet its right ending again,  “ See, you- ”  Jeno proceeded to rest his chin on the head of the chair as his lips puckered,  “ -you are jealous that there is someone else who is willing to play kind with me. Before, you were the only one. But, its okay. I won ’ t let anyone take your place. I will always find you and tie your shoelaces because they are untied right now. ”  Jaemin laughed as he pointed at Jeno ’ s askew shoelaces, loitering on the floor,  “ Jeno, will you ever tie it properly? ”

“No. ”  But that went unheard.

Jaemin sighed as he stood up from his chair and bent on his knees to take the shoelaces in between his fingers. He quickly tied a tight bow on top of his right shoe and patted the sides of it, to which Jeno pulled his right leg away and inched the left one forward. He treated the other shoe the same and smiled.

“You keep me on my toes, Jeno. ”  Jaemin titled his jaws up and met Jeno ’ s crescent eyes,  “ So, thank you. I have another to-do to add to my endless agenda of worries: teach Jeno how to tie his shoelaces properly. ”

Jeno scoffed as he watched Jaemin fumble with his shoelaces.

Renjun, on the other hand, had his hand coiled around the slot of the door, looking into the empty classroom and watched the scene unfold. He couldn ’ t describe what he was feeling, but the burning prickled along his chest and he couldn ’ t efface it down. His hands returned by his hand laggardly as he turned on his heels, and picked up his pace along the empty corridor. The birds were chirping outside as if mocking his every step and he wanted to shoot all those windows down. It hadn ’ t been a while but he knew he liked him from the day he met him.

･ ˖ · ◴ ◵ ◶ ◷

Jaemin pulled the chair before Renjun could sit, and bent on one knee to lunge in a curtsy. Renjun laughed and thanked him with a small bow of his head.

“Your Majesty. ”  Jaemin imitated those posh British actors he saw on DVDs those days, and rather than applying all he learned in his class, he thought it would be better if he could use those accents in real-life.

“Too many periodic dramas? ”  Renjun craned his neck, trailing Jaemin ’ s movements as he took his usual seat behind him. Jaemin shrugged at that, his lips curving into a smile.

“One never has watched enough periodic dramas. ”  Jaemin quipped, to which nodded in agreement,  “ You watch TV? ”

Renjun shook his head,  “ I rather study. But, if you can, can you recommend some? ”

“Sure. Of course. ”  Jaemin answered strongly, pulling too much determination on his tone. It must have looked absurd since Renjun petered into laughter and commented that it was only periodic dramas.

“No one really asks me about what I like to watch so …”  Jaemin averted his eyes to the window outside, as his eyes caught on the squirrel weaving his way in between the foliage as the sun took its might along the pavements, painting it golden. He couldn ’ t wait to go home and scramble along with the piles of CD, to find the perfect one for Renjun. Renjun who had already returned front, kept his attention fixed on the blackboard.

Keeping his chin on the heel of his palm, he continued scrutinizing the tree branches and the lengthy weeds surrounding the stub of it. No one took the duty of gardening and he pondered if he should volunteer. But that would mean more hours after school and he wasn't sure if he was to dedicate part of his daily routine to such a boring task. Then again, Jaemin twisted his neck to look at Jeno sitting at the back of the far left row, eyes narrowing on the board behind his glasses … probably Jaemin could meet him during his after school practices? They barely interacted now, since the exams were knocking close and their tables were stacked with copies of homework that they could spare time for daily schmoozing.

The empty space on the terrace was lonelier than ever, as Jaemin and Jeno didn ’ t meet up there as often. But sometimes, Jaemin would climb the stairs hoping to see Jeno there waiting for him, but he would find no one but himself. Sighing, he would squat along the ledge and devour his packets of bread (with courtesy of Sunghan) by himself.

Jaemin, rather than focusing on the board, found himself distracted by Renjun's cute, hunched shoulders. He hummed to himself, as he listed all the periodic dramas he had watched before, that Renjun would enjoy. He came to an unabridged catalog of twelve, and he was proud of it.

･ ˖ · ◴ ◵ ◶ ◷

The waffle was diminished to only crumbs, clinging on the side of the plate. Jeno had cleaned his own, wiping his spoon against the plate ever so often only to lick it clean. Renjun chuckled as he watched Jeno slurp out of the remaining of the slurp and handed him a tissue from the pocket.

“I know he loves syrup. He used to go mad when I forgot to leave syrup for him during lunch. ”

“Our cafeteria … I miss the food. ”  Renjun sighed dreamily,  “ But I rarely ate there. I accompanied you to the terrace and remember how we used to eat bread there? ”

“Sunghan really treated you well. ”  Jeno said with a hint of bother in his voice, as he averted his eyes away onto the next table which was empty,  “ I mean, you should have given him a chance. ”

“No. ”  Jaemin waved it off,  “ Some people wouldn ’ t have liked it. ”

Jeno bobbed his head and stood up to excuse himself to the bathroom. It felt Renjun and Jaemin in an uneasy air of awkwardness as both ransacked their minds for a topic to talk about. After a while, Renjun hummed and piped up with an excited expression dawning on his face,

“You still watch periodic dramas? ”

“Sometimes. What about you? ”

“Oh …” Renjun slumped on the booth, and mulled,  “ Well, there was a phase when I was still dating Jeno … I used to buy all this vintage once from old record shops. It reminded me of you and surprisingly there was the one you gave me, you know, back then. I watched it now … but it was underwhelming compared to when I watched it before. ”

“Okay. ”  Jaemin played around with the corner of the tissue the restaurant provided, as he twisted it into a thin cone.

“Jaemin, when I said I missed you, I really meant it. ”

Jaemin nodded without looking up to him. If he said he missed him too, all those feelings he managed to bury inside would come surging back. If he said he missed with every inch of skin if he said he urged to see him every day for the past few years if he said he had always-

“What are you guys talking about? ”

Jaemin's neck snapped up to meet Jeno ’ s eyes, which barely stayed at him before floating off to Renjun. Renjun shook his head and excused a faint,  “ Nothing. ”

“We are talking about periodic dramas. ”  Jaemin took over with a discreet wink shot at Renjun,  “ Are you still obsessed with it, Jeno? ”

“Oh god, no! I still can ’ t forget how you hoarded my desk with the ones you saw. ”

Renjun and Jaemin shared a look before wheezing out loud.

“The sex scenes are horrible and the accent, oh my god, spare me. Also, you- ”  Jeno groaned as pointed at Jaemin,  “ You had this annoying accent going on for a week. I wanted to tear my ears off. ”

“Oh no, Your Majesty. ”  Jaemin wore that same accent with a smirk and a mocking perturb on his face,  “ Please pardon me. I didn’t know you were, very much, looking forward to the panels that had intercourse. I would have minded your preferences, sir. ”

“Shut up. ”

･ ˖ · ◴ ◵ ◶ ◷

That day, Jaemin pedaled as fast he could muster back home. Without any notice hinted either to Jeno or Renjun, that he wasn ’ t going to stay after class, he ran off to the direction of his home as soon as the last bell rang. Although, he had peeped to his homeroom teacher that he wouldn ’ t be able to partake in his gardening duties that day. But he was excused anyway since nobody except Jaemin would take such monotonous activities, nurturing plants and whatnot, so the teacher clung to Jaemin because there wouldn't be anyone to do it if he left over some mishaps.

“Jaemin, welcome- ”  The door thud opened, as Jaemin, ferociously snapped his head right to left and strutted towards the room in impatient steps. His mother looked at him, baffled, as she stood there with her hands stuck still on the plate she was turning.

Jaemin rummaged through the lengthy stack of CDs that were lined up along the pink-colored wall. He realized he couldn ’ t see anything in the dark so when he was about to stand up and turn it on, his mother was already in the doorway and she had flicked the lights on. She had her hands wrapped along her torso, as she studied Jaemin ’ s disheveled state. Sighing, he walked up to him and sat down on her haunches, and proceeded to tame Jaemin ’ s sweaty and sticky hair.

“I thought you had after school today? ”

“I ditched it. ”  He groaned before he messed up his hair again and brushed his mother's hands away. She doted on him too much, that it was almost smothering. But he loved her, as much she could offer for that day. He didn ’ t mind at all and he wished he had let her caress his hair more, keeping a teenager’s chagrin aside.

“Why? ”

“I … Mom, do you happen to know where I left the  “ Beckons ”  CD? The ones we watched the other day. ”  Jaemin scanned the spines of the CD again, letting his fingers undulate against the ridges. He didn ’ t find it, a pout formed on his bottom lips as he darted his eyes onto his mother.

Hesitation pulled on his mother ’ s face, as she opened and closed her mouth, figuring what to say. Jaemin only realized then as he chimed in, appalled certainly.

“Mom, you didn ’ t give it Mrs. Lee next door, did you? ”

His mother sighed and nodded wordlessly.

“Mom …” Jaemin whined as he took his ground on his legs. His mother was still sitting on the ground, guilt evident on her face as she licked her lips now and then.

“I think I will have to swing by her place before I get back to school. ”

“You are going to school again? ”  his mother whipped her neck upwards, ”  I thought you ditched your garden- ”

“First off, I have something to take care of there, ”  Jaemin turned around facing his wide-opened door,  “ Second, I think I will be late, ”  He tilted his neck back and said,  “ Don ’ t wait for me and have your lunch. ”

“Okay. I will do that. ”  She didn ’ t prod further and the conversation curtailed there and then.

Jaemin took a quick curve at the intersection, one leading to school and the other reserved for the residential, where Mrs.Lee lived. Mrs. Lee was an acquaintance of his mother, and the two got along as they had one thing in common: their sons went to the same school. Although Lee Taeyong was his senior and graduated two years ago, he had a good run while he was there.

Mrs.Lee chastely kissed his cheeks and complimented his taste in periodic dramas, as she handed off the CD without resistance. Jaemin smiled benevolently and piped in with a humble  “ I do research sometimes. Do let me know if you need any more recommendations. ”

“Rolled up your sleeves, I assume? ”

“Anytime. ”  Jaemin chuckled as he leaned in with his hands folded behind him, holding the CD tightly.

“You seem to be in a happy mood. ”

Jaemin shrugged, careful not to be obvious with his expressions But he failed at that, as proved by Mrs.Lee’s incessant teasing but it was okay.

“I tend to be, I guess. ”

“No, no..no …”  Taeyong ’ s mother persisted,  “ Love is in the air. I have a great sense of young love and sorts. I have a son of my own, you know. ”

“Well …”  Jaemin couldn ’ t say anything to refute that since it was true. His wide beam playing across his face, shameless blushing and hands fumbling to catch anything for purchase and calm his heart.

“Tell me if it works out. ”  Mrs.Lee sighed faintly,  “ If it does not, then remember he is not meant for you. There is someone else with an eye on you and perhaps, destiny is saving you for him. ”

“I hope so. ”

With a bid goodbye and a delighted wave, he wheeled away from the remote area, hair surfing in the air among the undulated wind curls. His hands strained on the handles, as his legs worked hard to pedal faster towards the end of the road to school. His heart was in his mouth the whole ride, and he couldn ’ t help but string events and imagine the look on his face if he happened to spill his feelings there. Believe it or not, Mrs.Lee ’ s words echoed in his ear through each step he forced on the pedestal, and it became a sort of internal cheering mechanism for him. He relied on those words, trusted them even if they were just white lies you use, to encourage young teenagers in love.

He stopped along the train lines and watched the train whistle away. He was some decent miles away yet he couldn ’ t shake that feeling of nervousness infesting in his insides. There was a heavy stone settling on his lower abdomen, and he felt like retching. The CD rattled on the front basket as he cycled again from the opposite side of the rail, praying to dear God, that he was still there.

Jeno and Renjun both were in the same club, and it usually hogged 1 hour after school. Community Service Club, and it usually handled the well-being of students and such. Jeno urged Renjun to join since there were different students from other classes, and he could socialize and make friends while being at it. Jaemin did think when Jeno had offered Renjun that opportunity, why on earth Jaemin never came to his mind? He could use some friends, he was literally stripped off of any social status. But then again, the students from the club would never agree given his reputation (of being gay, and they were very devoted to being homophobic), so he thought the better of it.

Jaemin quickly parked the bicycle in the shed and rode the stairs to the third floor after crossing the porch and courtyard with elated hops. He couldn ’ t wait. Padded softly against the tiled floor, kicking off some soda cans at some corner before picking those up and discarding them in a trash bin. He knew no one was going to be left at school, except the staff and an exclusive lot of community club members.

When he peeked in the square glass of their class ’  door, he could see Renjun laying down, with his head on the table. He squirmed on his seat, finding a comfortable position to lay his head in the burrow of his elbows. Jaemin laughed to himself, as his hands found itself in the slot of the door.

He tip-toed his way inside, as if not to alert Renjun of his presence. But as he took three long strides in, Renjun suddenly jerked his head in the direction of the door, although with his eyes closed. He was most likely still asleep, judging by softly his shoulder followed a crescendo and a fall in due time. Jaemin continued his military wriggle and situated himself right beside Renjun.

He placed the CD on his own desk and bent down to inspect Renjun ’ s sleepy face, his lips protruding cutely with his brunette locks forming a curtain to hide his closed eyes. He buckled his knees and trailed his eyes on the edges of his locks, his hands curling and uncurling as he hesitated to flutter his fingers against his hair.

But instead, he leaned in as much as he could, his heart beating rapidly in his chest and he found himself not adhering to anything his conscience was poking at it. His lips were centimeter away from the tip of Renjun ’ s nose, as he intended to leave a small spell of a kiss there. Not known to anyone but himself and the empty desks and chairs arranged there neatly. He ever so insisted as he closed the distance as the thrilling seconds clocked by, his eyes shutting slightly.

Renjun ’ s eyes shot open, as time remained stagnant between them. Jaemin was only a breath away from his face, his eyebrows cocked up as he studied Renjun ’ s astonished face.

“What are- ”  Renjun mouthed and in a second, Jaemin pulled himself away, covering his lower face with his arm.

“You had a- ” _ Jaemin, think of something _ ,  “ -um-a-an eye booger. ”  Jaemin added rapidly, “ I was trying to clean it off. ”

Renjun retreated himself to the back of his chair and reached his face to rub his eyes. Jaemin couldn ’ t control all the things he was feeling right then, at the same instant- sensory overload.

“Oh …” Renjun continued rubbing his eyes,  “ -did you have something to say? It is very unusual to see you concluding your garden activities so quickly. ”

“No …”  He tugged the CD from his desk and slid it over Renjun ’ s desk, which Renjun took straight away and read the title over the cover,  “ I bought the CD. It is very underwhelming. ”  Jaemin took his own seat behind Renjun, the blushing had calmed down most probably as he didn ’ t feel as warm as he did seconds prior.

“It ’ s a beginner's one and I think you will like it. It will get you started on the right foot, I think. ”

Renjun flipped the CD in his hands as Jaemin's eyes narrowed on his nose. He felt warm again so he averted his eyes away.

“Beginner ’ s one, huh? ”

･ ˖ · ◴ ◵ ◶ ◷

“You want to meet up with Renjun tomorrow. He misses you, very. Like very. ”  Jeno stretched the last word and it was enough persistence he could do. Jaemin looked back at him, with his hands plunged in his pockets and smiled.

“You are not being very convincing, Zeno. ”  Jaemin shook his shoulders nonchalantly,  “ But I will take it. For you. ”

“Okay. ”  The latter clapped his hands, as the sounds competed with the roaring of the waves,  “ I will let him know. He will be very happy. ”

“I ’ ll be happy too, you know. ”

“Yeah. I know. ”

･ ˖ · ◴ ◵ ◶ ◷

“I was looking for you. Like everywhere. ”  Renjun groaned as he watched Jeno inclining out of the window, with his elbows hanging out lazily. He joined Jeno by his side, to see what he was so engrossed with.

What met his eyes was the casual scene of Jaemin flowering his plants meticulously, the watering can hanging in his right while his left hand stayed twisted behind. He was humming something, but it was inaudible due to the ebullient cheering of the basketball team next court. They were two floors above so they could discern the garden clearly, and Jaemin, the default gardener, remained oblivious. No one actually thanked him for his effort on reviving the dire state of the garden, now that Renjun thought of it.

Jeno was too concentrated on each of Jaemin ’ s movements, as the latter moved on sitting halfway on his legs, and tickled the branches and flowers with his fingers. Renjun noticed how much Jeno resembled Jaemin right then; they both had the expression that could be titled as,  ‘ unconditional affection ’ . Renjun turned his head away from Jeno ’ s profile and focused on the file he had in his hand. He tried to ignore what he had realized, and how much it wounded him from within.

They had a space between Jeno and him, one Renjun never saw between the off the record friendship Jaemin and Jeno had. Probably, it was because he joined them late. Yeah, that must be it.

“Jeno. ”  Renjun poked Jeno ’ s arms, but Jeno didn ’ t look up from Jaemin and only hummed in response. So Renjun joined, spectating Jaemin cut off some weeds and faltered leaves, hanging out of the designated pavement.

“Jaemin is really working that garden up, huh? ”  Renjun said, gripping the corners of the file tight.

Jeno's smile that remained unfazed, only grew at the corners as he nodded. The smile that was akin to being satiated what he had for now, and relishing that moment only. Jeno was really in-

Jeno turned to Renjun quickly, with his eyes stretched like saucers. Renjun jerked behind, laughing with his hands raised in defense.

“Did you have something to say? ”  Jeno scratched his nape,  “ Sorry, I was preoccupied. ”

Renjun inched the file at him and pushed it on to Jeno ’ s chest. His tone took a strict chime as he said, tapping at the file when Jeno took it in his hold, inspecting the papers inside from the transparent cover.

“Fill these sheets up and put them on Kim ’ s table tomorrow. It ’ s about homeroom duties. ’

“Uh. ”  Jeno opened the folder, and frisked through the paper carefully,  “ I ’ ll have these papers ready by tomorrow, I guess. There ’ s a lot in my mind right now, ”  he chuckled dryly,  “ So catching up with these would take much more time than necessary. ”

“Oh cool, ”  Renjun said, awkwardly patting Jeno ’ s arms. He remembered what he originally noted inside his head, before meeting the sight of Jeno, looking at Jaemin with honey-glazed eyes. He could say it now, its better than never. He wanted to take him to lunch at the new ramen shop that opened down the road, but he couldn ’ t muster the courage to. Jeno was almost busy with everything the school burdened him with, like arranging school events and partaking in invigilating juniors ’  exams. He was up to his arms with all those, that he didn ’ t have time to spare for their little get-together at the terrace, and that basically left Jaemin and Renjun to gobble their lunches up and rave about periodic dramas. Jeno never liked periodic dramas, on that note.

“Jeno, would you- ”

As he was about to say, he could hear a shrill coming down from the garden. Both Jeno and Renjun peered outside, and they could see Jaemin, shaking his arms above his head, holding what it looked like was scrunched up lunch foil as his face was morphed in pure rage. He was haranguing someone, who dared to throw rubbish on his painstakingly cured up garden.

“YOU CREEP! ’  he fired,  “ THERE ’ S LIKE THOUSAND TRASH BINS OUT THERE, WHY ’ D IT HAVE TO BE MY GARDEN? DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH WORK-? ”

“Jaemin! ”  Jeno hollered, pulling Jaemin ’ s attention from catapulting any other ill-profanities out there. Jaemin sighed as he looked up, rolling his eyes as he did so. Renjun soon appeared behind him, to watch the commotion but he noticed how Jaemin softened once he saw Renjun peering off Jeno ’ s shoulder.

“You look like you are having fun! ”  Jeno teased, and Jaemin threatened to hurl the watering can on him.

“Hi, Renjun! ”  Jaemin waved at him, as the frown was replaced with a taut smile. Renjun waved back softly, and Jeno turned back to stare back at him. He quickly craned his neck back, to poke more fun at Jaemin which the latter, successfully dodged.

“By the way, ”  Renjun ’ s attention on Jaemin piqued, as he imitated Jeno ’ s posture and hung out of the window slightly,  “… my babies are wilting, ”  Jaemin splayed out his legs on the fresh lawn of verdant as he looked at his plants disappointingly,  “ I don ’ t think I am doing a great job. Maybe, I was not made for it. ”

“I ’ ll help you. ”  Renjun offered, and Jeno looked back as if he had snatched what Jeno wanted to say,  “ I ’ m coming down, okay? ”

“You are a lifesaver! ”  Jaemin said the excitement was evident with how beckoned loudly with his hands forming a make-shift mike. Renjun tapped Jeno ’ s back, and Jeno finally whirled back to face him. He formed a fist with his hands and punched the air.

“Break a leg. ”  He said softly and Renjun scurried to the door and closed it behind him. He should break the news, at least to Jaemin. He would help him, right? He took a peek, unbeknownst to Jeno, through the square-shaped window of the door, and watched him resume his initial position as he looked down at Jaemin. But what he had worn on his face was not the same as before; he looked a bit sad now.

･ ˖ · ◴ ◵ ◶ ◷

See, it wasn ’ t a decent number of months he had spent around with the two of them, Jaemin and Jeno. They were friends, although they would rather keep it within themselves and barely showed off their close bond. He wasn ’ t there when they had first met, or when Jeno helped Jaemin to the nurse and told him if they could be friends. He wasn ’ t there to straighten out Jaemin ’ s bully, as they managed to annoy them every single day. Jeno was.

You couldn ’ t keep track of the timeline they became close and inseparable. The day Renjun first arrived, Jeno was there to welcome as a gesture of courtesy. He didn ’ t say anything except the official school salutations and introduced it to his respective classes and subject teachers. He remembered Jeno having his suit worn inside out, and Renjun pointed to it. To Jeno ’ s chagrin, he quickly slipped out of his suit and wore it the right way.

Perhaps, that had erased the awkwardness in between them and Renjun was glad he had initiated that turn of events. He was never capricious, so he ought to become friends with someone reserved. Before he could ask Jeno if he could give him a tour of the school, Jeno gestured at Jaemin, and told him how kind of an amiable guy he was. Jeno mentioned, he assigned nicknames to people he met, and if he really liked someone, he would try to come up with a unique one. 

Jeno had, ‘Gucci’ for some reason, and sometimes, he liked to call him, ‘Zeno’ with emphasis on the ‘Z’. Renjun thought it suited him well.

When Jeno was talking about Jaemin, he could see how Jeno ’ s features had softened and a warm smile had taken its place on his face. He looked fond of him, and Renjun assumed it was because they were close friends. 

“He is very friendly. You know, nice and he will get you adjusted to the school immediately. Although he is rather incompetent in the  ‘ making friends ’  category, I think he will warm up to you. ”

“That sounds good. ”

Jaemin was the one who would sit behind him, engage in spontaneous conversations but was careful not to prod too much about his life in New York. New York wasn ’ t really the best place to talk about. He didn ’ t know how, but Jaemin could comprehend that much and never asked about it. Jaemin was exactly as Jeno described, but warmer and cozier than Renjun had first thought. He invited him to their  ‘ secret place ’  for rendezvous, like lunch or just laid-back chats. Jeno would join them sometimes, although he frequented them on Tuesdays. Judging how Jaemin would animatedly describe the mishaps of their classes, the ordeals with the teachers too animatedly to Jeno and how Jeno would attentively listen to everything he had to say, Renjun understood how much Jaemin missed him.

Renjun wanted to give it more time, his feelings that he caught on the first day. It was raw, and he wasn ’ t sure if it was even real but the results of a childish infatuation. But as time went by, Renjun saw how close Jaemin and Jeno had gotten, as the regular absence of Jeno had taken a toll on the other. Before it was too late and he ended up losing all the chances he got, he decided it was best if he could spill his feelings to him.

They weren ’ t friends to that level, however, it was for the best. He couldn ’ t afford to lose them to his own feelings, it wasn ’ t fair to them. He jotted down the pros and cons of confessing someone you knew, on a slip of paper, and mulled on it for a while. Never mind, he brushed all the doubts off and curved the ball of paper on to the trash. He was going to tell him, no matter what.

A couple of days earlier, it was only Jaemin and Renjun for that particular afternoon, and Jaemin offered to visit baseball practice and watch from the bleachers. Renjun turned it down. There was other time than then, so he took up the courage and blurted with it his utmost courage,

“Jaemin, I like Jeno. ”

Jaemin looked taken aback, as disappointment clouded his face. He tried it to hide it, turning his face the other way, while his lips were trembling, he still managed to smile. The cover of Jaemin ’ s lunch snapped and unlocked under his nervous hands, before storing it away back. Renjun wasn ’ t sure if he had done something wrong, maybe he could fix it by telling it was a joke. But before he could, Jaemin interrupted him saying,

“More of the reason you should see Jeno playing baseball. He has a tournament tomorrow, so I think he will appreciate you, you know, cheering for him. ”

“Aren ’ t you coming with me? ”

“What do you mean? ”

“You said,  ‘ you ’  or  ‘ we ’ . ”

“Well, for now, I think I should get out of the picture. ”  Jaemin grinned, but it didn ’ t quite reach his eyes. Jaemin quickly descended down the stairs, and never shot a look off his shoulders.

Renjun found himself, hugged up the grass of the field, as he sat there with his knees pulled up to his chest and watched Jeno rushing across the field, a white baseball cap held tightly on his head. Once he took a notice of Renjun sitting there, he waved back softly and smiled.

Renjun waved back. He didn ’ t know how Jaemin was doing right then.

The afternoon blessed them with a cool wind, and Renjun was preparing to leave for home. He slid the class to the class and found Jaemin sitting at his own seat, looking blankly outside the window with his chin resting on his palm. Renjun knocked on the door, to notify Jaemin of his presence. Jaemin turned to look at him, as his eyes followed Renjun from head to toe.

“Did you tell him yet? ”  Jaemin asked, and Renjun stopped on his tracks to the direction of his table.

“No. Not yet. ”

“I think you should tell him now. That single bastard is not going to be single anymore, so I am a bit sad. The girls …” Jaemin eyes rounded,  “ They are going to cry like it's a funeral. ”

Renjun chuckled as he shrugged, making his way to the table,  “ I am not scared. At least not of their reactions, but Jeno ’ s. ”

“Well, cheers to that. ”  Jaemin urged Renjun to turn back and look at him,  “ It will turn out okay. ”

“Thank you. ”  Renjun grinned,  “ I thought you took an offense to me liking him judging how you reacted yesterday. ”

“No. No. I am glad that- …” Jaemin cleared his throat,  “ -it was _you_ liking him. ”

“I am glad you are my friend. ”

“Me too. Sometimes. ”

･ ˖ · ◴ ◵ ◶ ◷

Renjun was standing by the wall of the exit of the school. The sun was setting down, and it cast a dark amber hue along the cloud, giving the dash like clouds an aliveness as if it were Renaissance paintings nailed on a wall. He bit back a breath, hands curling on the straps of his baseball bag, holding it close to his abdomen. Finally, he felt his heart humming in his ears and that he could tell him.

Jeno and Jaemin came by riding their ten-speeds and braked in front of him. Jaemin jerked his chin towards Jeno and told him that he had forgotten something home and that he should accompany Renjun home for that day. Jeno agreed, as Jaemin reversed his bike and headed towards the school. He looked back and saw Renjun looking at him nervously but Jaemin flashed his thumb at him, mouthing  ‘ Good Luck! ’

After that Jaemin couldn ’ t muster the courage to look back anymore, as he continued running his pedals in the direction of his home. He didn ’ t want irritatingly stuck to him, he couldn ’ t even distinguish between tears and sweat. He couldn ’ t help but wish that everything went downhill, even though that was wicked of him.

Once he had reached home, he abandoned his bike outside. The bike fell to the ground, as the wheels kept winding by itself. He climbed the stairs with rushed steps before his mother could spot him and probe him for the reason he broke down, like an ugly five year old. He didn ’ t have an answer to that, apparently.

He plopped over to his bed, as he heard himself wailing audibly. His tears drenched the bedsheet, as he continued hiccuping uncontrollably. The next day was another day, and he thought if he would be able to face them properly, with linked arms as people would rejoice that they got together after so much pinning. They would act like they knew that Renjun liked Jeno, all along and send their best wishes along. They would whistle, howl loudly when they would enter class. While those would unravel, Jaemin would pretend it was news to him and he was oblivious to anything the two had for each other. It would hurt, but he could tolerate it.

The door to his room suddenly shut, as Jaemin knew his mother was on the other side, hearing him cry so loudly. But she let him. It was rare to see him indulging in his emotions and not pretending to be estranged from it. Jaemin hands clutched the bedsheets, as he sobbed harder from before, faces of Renjun flashing in front of his close eyelids.

It was okay, he tried to convince himself. But, inadvertently, somehow all of those events hurt much more than the bullying or how students would ignore him, hurl insults at him. He guessed the latter events didn ’ t matter to him as much those two did.

**Renjun**

**Jeno said yes!**

**Jaemin**

**Congrats! Don** **’** **t forget to give your**

**cupid credit.**

**Renjun**

**I will treat you tomorrow.**

**Jaemin**

**I am happy for you >.<**

He clicked the phone off, as tears dried up along his skin. He ignored the continuous chimes from his phone, as Jeno kept messaging him.He knew Jeno would be quick on his shoes to address the matter, to explain himself but he knew if he didn’t accept Renjun’s proposal, a lot of ordeals would have ensued at that cost. People would know, people would talk and for once, in a long while, Jaemin would be bothered. 

The lights turned off, and with an empty stomach, he drifted off to sleep. He missed the next day of school and his mother let him.

When he opened the door, he found a tray, filled with breakfast and a carton of milk. On it, his mother stuck a note saying that he could come back whenever he felt like it was okay. The dinner was in the fridge and she made his favorite pudding for him and stored it away in the fridge.

Jaemin stepped over the tray and made a beeline for the fridge, taking out the pudding and stabbed his fork into it. He took large bites of it, without care of choking. He squatted down in front of the fridge, reclining his back against the cool surface of it as the scenes of yesterday came surging in front of him, like movies in a drive-way theatre.

He finally let out the breath he was holding, as the tears had long been restrained.

_ Now, it was finally okay. _

･ ˖ · ◴ ◵ ◶ ◷

The terrace was empty, no students ever took a step in it. Jaemin was there everyday, eating lunches on his own. He stopped talking to both of them the day after, Renjun was understanding and went along with his act of ignorance. Jeno was stubborn, he refused to comprehend the reason Jaemin had zipped his lips shut all of a sudden. Jaemin didn ’ t give him a reason to think of it, he just brushed away all of his advances and took him solitary at the terrace.

Jeno didn ’ t press further after a week, maybe Renjun had given him the talk. They both sat at the last bench, playing footsie while others said they made out. But, whenever Jaemin looked back he could see Jeno looking at him with a cryptic expression, blurred along the lines of longing and confusion. But not too long after that, those expressions seized and they both acted as if they had never known each other.

Bleachers never stayed empty though, Renjun was there always during the lunches. He kept Jaemin ’ s promise by cheering for Jeno, and never leaving his side. Although Jaemin's side remained empty now, he didn ’ t mind. It was the same prior to Jeno and Renjun befriending him.

He was happy for the short evanescent day. It was meant to go away sooner than later.

Renjun did buy him lunch, as he left a packet full of bread on his desk. Jaemin didn ’ t eat that, and gave it to Sunghan when he joined him while he attended his garden. When Jaemin looked up, he was sure, there was somebody looking at him from the window. But he shrugged it off knowing well who it was.

Fast forward a few months, Jeno met him after class. He was alone in the class since he finished his gardening activities late. Jeno impatiently opened the door, knowing that finally he had Jaemin to himself.

When Jaemin noticed him,his arms yanked up slightly to wave at him. His face remained blank, as he started to walk towards the door. But before he slotted his hand in the door handle, his wrist was pulled back and he found himself face to face with Jeno.

“I never got the chance to talk to you. ”  He said softly although Jaemin knew he was beyond raging, with his jaw tensed up and his eyebrows tightly meeting in the middle.

“It ’ s okay. You don ’ t have to. ”

“You hurt me. ”

“It wasn ’ t easy, you know. ”  Jaemin shrugged,  “ Somebody was bound to get hurt. In this case the two of us. Thank you for, you know, sacrificing your feelings for me. Not for me, actually Renjun. He is the only one who gets something good out of this so it was all that bad, I guess. ”

“You are being unusually cringey.” Jeno unwrapped his hands from Jaemin’s wrist as it fell by his side. 

“When am I not?” Jaemin chuckled dryly, raking his fingers through his locks. It was a different shade of blue then. Jeno kept track, but he stopped reminding Jaemin of it. He believed he didn’t have a place to do it now.

“How did you know that I- ”

“You couldn ’ t make it any less obvious. ”

･ ˖ · ◴ ◵ ◶ ◷

“Well, um …”  Renjun took a glance at his phone,  “… I think we'll  have to go back to the hotel. ”

“Oh yeah. Sure. ”  Jaemin smiled, as he shifted to the end of his leather layered seat, before standing up. He inched his hand for a fist bump and Renjun met it with his soft knuckles.

“I guess, see you … see you kind of makes it burdening, don ’ t you think? ”

“When I am incognito the whole time? ”  Jaemin chuckled with his head lolled back,  “ Yeah. I ’ ll see you when I ’ ll see you, Too Tiny Too Thin ”  and he looked at Jeno,  “ You too, Zeno. ”

Jeno didn ’ t say anything the entire time and watched the pleasantries unravel before saying his piece. He thanked Jaemin for the waffles before leading Renjun towards the exit. Before they could go, Jaemin noticed how Jeno was wearing sneakers then and his hands were itching to tie for him. He never got the chance to do it after Renjun and Jeno got together as if it out of reflex he called out Jeno,

“Jeno, Your shoelaces …”  he was about to bend but before he got it, Renjun quickly attended to it and tied his shoelaces neatly.

Jaemin smiled to himself, shoving his hands inside his pockets as he passed by them and walked out of the diner. He was glad … he was happy for them.

･ ˖ · ◴ ◵ ◶ ◷

_ “Can I? ”  Jeno pointed at Jaemin ’ s own untied shoelaces, as the treads thrashed itself among the sand. _

__

_ “Yeah. ” _

__

_ Jeno bent down in front of him and mumbled the instructions to himself as he continued wringing the shoelaces and knotted them at the heart of the shoe. Jeno looked up at him and without any restraint, Jaemin grinned back. _

__

**Author's Note:**

> -sorry to disappoint you, but yes, this is not a fic that will not imply a polynomial relationship. I wanted to write it containing themes of the said topic, but i deemed it will be inappropriate and incorrect if i write something about a topic that i am still very much uneducated in.  
> -that being said, i wanted to write a fic casting these three, so i stumbled upon this fic fest and thought it was the perfect opportunity.  
> -some of the scenes are inspired by the anime, kimi ni todoke, and i would recommend listening to the ost found on youtube along when you read the story.


End file.
